I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Randomize
