these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize
