Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Randomize
