Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize