He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
