Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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