i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
