you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
