guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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