Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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