My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
