Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Randomize
