i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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