dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Randomize
