Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Randomize
