Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
