good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
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