There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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