You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Randomize
