I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
