Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I just gargled with NyQuil
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
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