I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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