Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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