Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
