I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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