My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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