Im at strip club and am horny
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
