Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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