69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
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