I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
