I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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