You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
