She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize