After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
That was an excessively violent trivia night
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
