I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
