around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize