we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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