When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
