cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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