go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize