Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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