Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
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