You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
