Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
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Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
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A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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