I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
