Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
