She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
We need to rekindle our bromance
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
My ATM looks so different sober.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
