You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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