I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
