I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
