thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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