two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
