This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
organizing the empties. That sober.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Randomize
