capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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