so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize