no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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