it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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