Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
