i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
