I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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