no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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